poetry

Eradication

You can be beautiful, but make sure to never boast

and if you aren’t, do not vocalize the pain; do not cry, do not post.

If you wish to live a life that will be rejected by those you love most;

recede into yourself. Become shapeless, lifeless. A shell or a ghost.

 

If conformity is a dagger that your heart surrounds and bleeds onto

and eradication means certain death or a life of obscurity you cannot undo,

then remain. Content and in excruciating pain with every breath that comes into you.

There is nothing left. A pseudo life; not nearly enough. But will suffice until death is due.

 

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college

It Won’t Matter When I’m Dead

About a month ago, I had this weird existential epiphany experience. Or something.

I watched some documentary that I probably shouldn’t have watched and I was left there frozen for an hour trying to figure out everything.

Everything meaning race and religion and career paths and conspiracies and you know, everything.

Continue reading “It Won’t Matter When I’m Dead”

Uncategorized

Did You do Everything You Wanted to?

My adult life is slowly creeping up on me. As college applications, requirements and recommendations whiz through my mind i’m slowly starting to get accustomed to the idea of growing up.

There are lots of people in the world now who are approaching the end of their lives. And as mine is just starting to unfold, I’m wondering how many of those people are satisfied with their lives?How many of them feel as if they accomplished everything they wanted to? How many feel like they didn’t do everything they wanted?

Every individual has set goals and/or plans for themselves. Every person has a dream and things they must do in order to feel like they (for lack of a better choice of words) lived life to the fullest. Personally, traveling is the most important thing for me. Right now atleast, because I know that could change but I mean, who doesn’t want to travel the world. Anyway, if I die having spent my entire life in the same place with no experience and no real sense of culture, I’d feel a little disappointed. A lot disappointed. But that’s me, I know there are many people who could care less about travelling.

I also know that there are people who, for whatever reason, feel like having kids is their main priority in life. And I guess once you grow up and get married, that’s the natural order of things. But how do the people who can’t have kids feel when their time has passed and kids are no longer an option.

A part of accepting death is being able to come to terms with your life. Sitting down and really thinking about everything you’ve done. Being happy with everything you’ve done is the most important thing. Feeling satisfied about what you’re leaving behind is what makes life worth it.

Still, the question remains. How would it feel to die knowing you haven’t done everything you wanted to do? I can only hope that I never get the answer.