I’ve been away for a while. A long while. Partially because of college, work and newspaper. Mainly because I really enjoy sleeping and binge watching. Anyway, I’ve also spent a lot of time organizing and planning a trip that I plan on taking next May. I’m very excited but I want to wait to give more details until I know that everything is concrete.
Being born in 1997 means that for a brief few years, I was gracious enough to be a part of possibly the best decade in all of the decades. Honestly, the 90’s gave us amazing music, movies(PULP FICTION??PRETTY WOMAN, FRIDAY??) and so much more.The only reason why today’s movies can even compare is because of the quality of the special effects. Anyway the most important part of the decade though has to be.. Continue reading “The Last Great Decade?”
My adult life is slowly creeping up on me. As college applications, requirements and recommendations whiz through my mind i’m slowly starting to get accustomed to the idea of growing up.
There are lots of people in the world now who are approaching the end of their lives. And as mine is just starting to unfold, I’m wondering how many of those people are satisfied with their lives?How many of them feel as if they accomplished everything they wanted to? How many feel like they didn’t do everything they wanted?
Every individual has set goals and/or plans for themselves. Every person has a dream and things they must do in order to feel like they (for lack of a better choice of words) lived life to the fullest. Personally, traveling is the most important thing for me. Right now atleast, because I know that could change but I mean, who doesn’t want to travel the world. Anyway, if I die having spent my entire life in the same place with no experience and no real sense of culture, I’d feel a little disappointed. A lot disappointed. But that’s me, I know there are many people who could care less about travelling.
I also know that there are people who, for whatever reason, feel like having kids is their main priority in life. And I guess once you grow up and get married, that’s the natural order of things. But how do the people who can’t have kids feel when their time has passed and kids are no longer an option.
A part of accepting death is being able to come to terms with your life. Sitting down and really thinking about everything you’ve done. Being happy with everything you’ve done is the most important thing. Feeling satisfied about what you’re leaving behind is what makes life worth it.
Still, the question remains. How would it feel to die knowing you haven’t done everything you wanted to do? I can only hope that I never get the answer.
I wrote my last post a couple of weeks ago and scheduled it to be posted today. I haven’t had any miraculous eye opening experiences or anything but I feel a lot more confident about my future now than I did then. I still wanted to publish the post though because it’s still important for my feelings to be known, although they have changed.
So yes, I just had to clear that one up. No i’m not still quietly freaking out on the inside although who knows what could happen tomorrow?
I know it sounds so dumb saying this since I’m literally 17 years old. But I’ll be 18 soon and college is right around the corner and honestly I’m slowly and quietly freaking out on the inside.
I know how this sounds to people who are actual adults with actual responsibilities. It’s not like i’m leaving high school to go raise a family and start paying a mortgage. But for the first time in my life, I’ll be paying for my education. Failing a class has actual repercussions and I’ll be solely responsible for my day to day life.
My older brother didn’t go to college so this is the first time my immediate family will be doing this. So it’s not only me, I’m sure my family is freaking out too because it’s so new to us.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely excited. I can’t wait to be independent and learn new things and people. These are things that I’ve always wanted to do so I’m really excited to finally being doing them.
I’m sure I’ll be posting more and more posts like this as college approaches. I’m always thinking about it so it’s gonna be a hot topic.
I’ve always been a realist. Never really believed that everything works out perfectly for everyone and that every person will end up happy. Although I’m sure there are many people like this, I’m also sure that everyone has a unique reason why they believe and think this way. I feel the way I do as a result of things that have happened to me through out my life and that’s probably true for most people. I’m trying to be less like this though, be more optimistic, believe in myself and others more than I did before. It’s hard and it’s weird but it helps.
Of course I have dreams and goals for myself. Personally, I feel like without dreams you aren’t really living. Just muddling through life day after day with no real purpose. That’s no way to live, that’s the worst way to live. Wanting something more for yourself is so important. No matter how successful or smart or whatever, you can always get better. But I digress.
Anyway, there are many people who have strived for something or who have tried to live out their dreams and failed. No one wants to be that person, in fact everyone will tell you that hardwork is the only way to reach your dreams and not become that person. But sometimes all the hard work isn’t enough and you’re just left with something that is unattainable.
Despite my being a realist and a pessimist and everything else that I probably am, I have goals and dreams. And if you’ve been reading my posts, that’s pretty evident at this point. But my point is, I have goals and dreams, like everyone else, and I’m just left here wondering what happens if my dreams don’t come true? Just like everyone else. A part of growing up is realizing that you have to stop relying on others. The only person who can reach your dreams is you and the only person who can motivate you is you. I’m learning this now and I’m learning to believe in myself.
And now I’m sounding too much like an episode of a Disney Channel show so I’m gonna end it here. You get the point I think. Do you and be you.
I have this scary,really weird thing I do where I began to think about one topic and then my mind spirals into this deep abyss filled with hundreds of random things that I’m forced to think about. I like to write about a lot of the random things because it interests me.
It’s extremely trivial, I mean it’s anything from thinking about an episode of Scandal to thinking about the creation of the
universe. Of course I know everyone does this, to a certain extent. I mean the human mind is amazing of course we think about things like this. We’re literally made to sit around and ponder random questions that we have about the world. It’s why we have science and medicine and literature, cause people thought about things and shared with other people so they could think about it as well.
That’s all fine and cool and every thing. But the real issue arrives when you have to figure out how to communicate your ideas. What I mean is everybody has emotions and thoughts but not everyone has a way to channel them. As an example, I have a friend who’s going through a breakup type of thing(sorry it’s high school) and she’s started drawing in order to “get over it” or “handle it” in her own way. I told her that my thing was writing, no matter how upset or happy I am, I always document it. And she told me that wouldn’t help her because she wouldn’t know where to begin or how to gather her thoughts. This honestly confuses me because I feel like people assume that if you aren’t writing a novel or a Shakespearean sonnet, that it doesn’t matter, or that it’s pointless. Half the time when I’m journaling, it’s random thoughts that are flowing as my pen hits the page. I do that until I can really get into what’s bothering me or whatever’s on my mind.
Of course there is an enormous amount of people who can take their feelings and put them into physical form. I mean we have artists, musicians, writers and so many other examples.But to the people who can’t or don’t, please do. There’s so many cool ways to do something creative with your issues/life or whatever you want.
I know not every person has time to sit around being all “artsy” or “granola” or whatever you wanna call it. But I think creativity is such an important part of the human mind and honestly it shouldn’t be wasted.
I started my blog a while ago, but i’ve only recently actually told people about it. Through Instagram of course.
Anyway, I guess I was nervous about what people would say or think about it but to be honest– it doesn’t matter. I started my blog to practice writing, to talk about my life and honestly just because it was something i’d always kind of wanted to do. So as long as i’m happy with it, i’m happy with me.
I’ve always known I wanted to be a writer. And I’m so grossed out by how cliche that obviously sounds but it’s true. I’ve wrestled with myself for years about choosing a career path that will either ensure success or guarantee happiness. Becoming a writer/ journalist will either work out for the best or I’ll end up poor and sad. But at least that way I’ll be able to say “I attempted to follow my dreams and be happy ” because I know there are millions of people who will never be able to think or say those words.
Every couple of months I tell my family that I’m gonna be a nurse, graphic designer, lawyer or (insert miscellaneous career). And I try to convince myself that I’ll be happy doing either of these but I know that’s not true.
I feel kind of uneasy when complaining about choosing a career path to follow because there are so many people in the world who don’t get to dream the way Americans do. And again I feel uneasy because that’s a huge generalization but it’s also true.
But back to my point, i’ve always wanted to be a writer and I started my blog because of this and I started journaling for the same purpose. So now that i’ve actually told people about it, i’m excited for their feedback and for the future.
One of my summer reading assignments was the book, The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth by Alexandra Robbins. Instead of researching the books the way I usually do, I went into Barnes and Noble and just asked for it. I was really surprised hours later when I read the back of it and discovered what it was about. I’m not going to type the whole thing but mainly you just need to know that ,” Robbins follows seven real people grappling with the uncertainties of high school social life: The Loner, The Popular Bitch, The Nerd, The New Girl, The Gamer, The Weird Girl and The Band Geek. “. This line alone drew me in because I love books that follow several characters POV’s.
Anyway, I’m so into the book because it tells the truth about the high school experience and decodes behavior that has become commonplace EVERYWHERE in America. The characters all live in different parts of the United States but all of their stories could easily be under one roof at one school. Robbins discusses why popular kids are mean, why individual identity is diminished by the idea of “normal” and even race relations.
I’ve barely put a dent into the book but I’ve already learned so much. Like how labeling people is such an important part of our society. Of course everyone knows that a typical high school has the “jocks”, the “nerds” , the “stoners” , the “emos” and many more. We have movies like the Breakfast Club to thank for the constant labeling of every individual person. But what interests me is the fact that if we can’t accurately label someone or lump them into a specific group, we are essentially uncomfortable with them because we can’t lump them with other people and therefore can not understand them on the most superficial level. However, I can’t criticize because I’m an abuser of this system like many of my peers. We meet someone new and automatically attempt to determine which group they fit into and who their friends will be. When I converse with people who are outside of my group, I think about how my friends would feel if they knew I was talking to this specific person and that person would feel if their friends knew they were talking to me. It’s a vicious and disturbing cycle that I wish could be changed because when the labeling continues on through high school it becomes something a little more serious. There’s a lot of emphasis in the book with characters who are outcasts because they are just so eccentric and such strong individuals. It makes sense that teenagers(and society as a whole) would look down to people who don’t fit a mold or a specific stereotype that they can categorize. Being an individual scares people because it’s not something they are used to, people are frightened by new things. So when there are teenagers in a high school that refuse to listen to the same music, dress the same and talk about the same things as their peers, people freak out. When you have a large group of people and every person acts exactly the same way, and does the same things…it’s not because they want to but most likely because they fear what their peers and their friends would think if they dared to be different.
I haven’t even finished the book yet but I feel so enlightened by everything I’ve read so far. The best part is that the book relates to everyone; middle schoolers because the same things apply there and even adults because they have lived through or are still living through things that occur in the novel. This author has a few other books that are supposed to be really good so I suggest you guys read them and this one as well because you will not not not regret it .
I don’t know why, but for some reason I woke up one day and decided to start journaling again. I kept a diary when I was younger but as I got older I only wrote when I was really upset about something. I did this as a way to channel my anger because every time I picked up my pen and started writing, I felt lighter and much happier. Every time. When summer started, I decided to not only write when I was upset -but all the time. Whenever I have a thought or something that’s been on my mind for a while, I write about it until I have a better understanding of the present conflict which is such a healthy way to deal with things in my opinion.
I even doodle and draw models of houses when my mind begins to drift because it’s also about expressing whatever I’m feeling at that moment. I’m afraid this makes me sound really granola hahah. But if you struggle with emotions or any other issues consider writing about it because truth be told, IT HELPS.